Review: Hart of Dixie 2×15: “The Gambler”

In which Wade loses all the ground he’s gained and George continues to make the ladies swoon.

Oh Wade. Oh boy. You know I love you. But I am no longer in love with you.

But before we get into my whole emotional change of heart, let’s give a brief breakdown of what happened for those of you in the cheap seats.

Recap:

Wade and the Battle of the Bands. Wade is hopped up and ready to win the Battle of the Bands so he can get $20,000 toward his new bar. Zoe is incredibly supportive…until she realizes Wade’s lead singer Meatball is a howling, lunatic mess. She tries to convince him to get George to sing lead (because, let’s face it, we all need more singing Scott Porter in our lives), but Wade gets pissed that she’s not supportive of his band and that she doesn’t like their sound (which, Wade, are two completely different issues, and Zoe really was only the latter).

Of course, Wade is also not deaf, and once Zoe points out that Meatball is terrible, Wade tries to get him to change their “country grunge” sound, but Meatball refuses to be a “Kinsellout” and quits the band. Enter George and his dulcet tones as new lead singer.

George thinks Tansy will be turned on by him as a musician (because, you know, she’s human and he once dueted with Hugh Grant), but instead, she tells him that after her experience with Wade, she refuses to date another musician and leaves their practice. George is upset, and eventually confronts Tansy, telling her that after 15 years of being controlled by Lemon, he’s not going to be with someone who tells him what to do. Tansy agrees that she was letting the past influence her decision and that she knows George is a solid guy and his love of music won’t change that. Then they kiss and are more adorable.

While George and Tansy are fifty shades of cute, Zoe tries to show Wade that she really does support him by giving him a gift: a brand new neon sign that says “Wade’s Place”. (Really? That’s the best name you could come up with? Not “Wade-ing Pool” or “Can’t Hardly Wade” or “Wade for Me!”? Where is your love of puns, show?!). Instead of being touched by this gesture, Wade freaks the freak out and proceeds to get hammered before the Battle of the Bands. George tells him to cool it, but Wade just snaps at him, fires him from the band, re-hires Meatball, and promptly loses the competition.

When George pulls the friend card on Wade and asks him, “WTF?”, Wade starts imploding in the most spectacular way. He starts complaining that everyone keeps thinking that he can be better, but you know what, he can’t be better. In other words: “Save your money, Tucker, I’m not worth it. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go back to being me.”

And then he proceeds to leave the bar with a random not-hot chick, missing Zoe when she finally makes it to the bar after getting lost in the backwoods. (Seriously, how is anyone ever on time? I would have been eaten by Burt Reynolds by this point.)

Lemon and the Search for a New Best Friend. Lemon, still pissed that Annabeth slept with her ex-mister Lavon, is trying to find ways to distract herself now that she has ample free time without a best friend. She forces her Walt to be her permanent arm candy and, when he’s not available, buys Mangolia into best friend status with shiny dresses. Annabeth, encouraged by Cricket, is unfazed by Lemon’s rampant ignoring and uses a phone app to track her best friend into submission (yeahhhh it is a bit creepy when you think about it). Of course, all of Lemon’s craziness once again blows up in her face as Walt breaks up with her for being too clingy and she and Annabeth get into yet another fight, resulting in Lemon declaring that she wants to dissolve Annabeth’s. What could be a completely tragic storyline this episode is capped with a really touching scene with Lemon and Magnolia, where Lemon confesses that she doesn’t know how to be comfortable alone, and Magnolia tells her that although she needs a big sister, she “didn’t mind having [Lemon] as a best friend, either.” All together now: Awwww.

If this is what the zombie apocalypse is gonna be like, SIGN ME UP!

Lavon and the Meaning of True Love. Lavon officiates a proxy wedding where Tom and Wanda serve as the soldier couple who are currently abroad so they can get married. Tom is inspired and decides that he wants to propose to Wanda. He insists on Lavon helping him, even though Lavon has given up on love. Right before Tom is about to propose, Lavon overhears Wanda saying how upset she is that Tom is going to propose and he runs out to Tom to tell him the plan is off. Of course, since Hart of Dixie can’t stop itself from being slapstick, in his depression, Tom accidentally sets off a set of horses and gets dragged behind them in the rain. (With Lavon chasing after them, it was admittedly pretty hilarious.)

After he’s patched up by Zoe, Tom is called to the town center, where an entire zombie apocalypse is taking place. Right as his terror peaks, he realizes they are singing his favorite song, “Islands in the Stream”, and that the head zombie is Wanda. After they engage in some totally believable spontaneous harmony, Wanda and Tom then get engaged, simultaneously proposing to each other and relighting the fire in Lavon’s heart. We end the episode with Lavon telling Annabeth that they are worth fighting for and that he will wait for her. (LAVONABETHHHHH!!!)

Thoughts:

While this episode had the cutest proposal in the entire world, it again shows how incompatible Zoe and Wade are. I was initially really excited by their storyline and was hoping that what we would see is a couple who come from two different places and, because of that, make each other better. And we have seen that…only, it’s been from George and Tansy. (Seriously, Tom/Wanda is my OTP, and then Lavonabeth, but right after that is George/Tansy.)

Every episode has shown us that Zoe and Wade are not sustainable. They are unable to make compromises and they don’t respect each other. Yes, the sex is hot and yes, it was really cute when he made her those cookies that one time, but for Pete’s sake, they are unable to communicate. And, unfortunately for them, that’s sort of the most basic part of being in a relationship.

Did Wade cheat on Zoe? I’m inclined to say no, but I’m even more inclined to say it doesn’t matter. The cheating or almost-cheating is symptomatic of something much bigger, something more fundamental to the relationship. It shows once more how Wade reverts to relying on himself and his old ways instead of trying to work things out with Zoe or talk to Zoe or, jeez, even talk to George, who was really just trying to be a friend. You can’t be in a healthy relationship or a healthy life if you just don’t try.

Wade is such a great character with such a fantastic potential for growth, but there’s only so much apologizing you can do for someone who is unwilling to make himself better. This is a guy who snaps at his girlfriend because she doesn’t support him and the moment she makes an effort, he self-combusts under the pressure. Wade deserves better for himself, but if he’s not going to be better, Zoe deserves better. (Hot new Dr. Breeland, maybe?)

I have rooted for a lot of Zade-like couples in my day (Brucas, Pacey/Joey), but all of those couples showed a basic level of communicating, understanding, compromising, and changing  each other for the better. And I gotta be honest: unless they do some MAJOR character development on Wade across seasons, I’m not going to be able to root for Zade as endgame. (See: me jumping the Chair ship for Dair in Season 4.)

Regardless of how this episode made me feel angry/sad/WHY DO YOU CONSTANTLY EMOTIONALLY COCKBLOCK YOURSELF WADE feelings, there was a lot of cuteness and a lot of plot and that overwhelmed the propensity for douchiness.

Grade: B+

Best Lines of the Night:

“I feel like I’m cheating on my boyfriend with a super hot musician who looks just like him.” ~ Zoe

“She’s not my favorite person or my second or third…she’s really right near the bottom of my list.” ~ Tansy, on Zoe

“I know. I’m a Hallmark card. I can’t help it.” ~ Tom (DON’T YOU EVER CHANGE!)

“Like a car with four legs…with eyes that ravage the soul.” ~ Tom, on horses

“I’ve helped couples find each other in warzones and among the undead.” ~ Lavon